Thursday, August 19, 2010

Inspiration, Friends, School and Assistance Wanted

My ideas and inspiration come from different places. Life, music, the internet, movies, television, and the people I meet to name some of said places. Some times I jump into whatever I'm doing, feeling totally uninspired and drained of creativity. When that happens, one of three things may happen. A)I end up kicking ass, B)I end up a terrible hot mess or C)I end up having fun while creating a terrible hot mess. Sometimes I wonder if there is a better way? You know, a way to find inspiration without causing chaos, without any disappointment of your work not turning out how you hoped.
I fear that I may have lost two friends by the end of the summer. But, when I say lost, I mean they will still be my friends, but, we will rarely ever speak or see each other. I will admit, I am not taking it well, being almost completely ruled by my emotions. I've told this to one of the two, the one who is moving, otherwise known as Taylor, and she smacks me. I don't think she gets it totally. I watched her move from her old school to mine, and I saw how much she talked to her old friends. She's moving again, and I get to be an old friend, I'm afraid I'll lose one of my closest friends. Then again, there is a difference between her other old friends and I; My mum would drive me to the ends of the earth to make me happy. I'm sure hers would as well, but still. My mum is awesome. Taylor also hates how I doubt I will see our mutual friend as well. I wish she could see it from my perspective, to understand why I feel how I feel when with both of them, and where my doubts come from. I don't want to lose him, as a friend or more if I can muster up a facade of sanity, but we've never hung out the two of us, and I doubt he really wants too. (I'll stop now, I could go on and on about how I feel third-wheelish, but I won't. Just know, I feel it quite frequently, in many different groups of people.)
School begins next month, my last year as a high schooler. I am excited and petrified at the same time. My work load is larger than it was my junior year, and most doubt my ability to keep up with it and succeed, but still. I have to, if I want to get into the school I want to get into the school I want to get in to. Yeah, I'm going to get in, so this year I will kick ass.
Last thing before I sign off, and post one of the last photos I took of Taylor by herself (Long shutter speed, flash and glowin' stuff). It may possibly sound as though I care for nothing of what I attempt to create, and only care for "popularity," if you could call it that. But, I don't really care. Comments make my day. It's one thing to see who sees what via stats on blogger draft. It's another to hear you like what I've posted, or have a suggestion for me to make it better. I'm done being awkward in my quest to ask for your input.

With Love,
Sarah
(Click for Larger View)

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